MeLtEdxIcE's Xanga

Friday, June 02, 2006

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 03:35:47 GMT

Yay =)

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 02:35:37 GMT

thats how i look tien. lol. you can also see how poor i was back then -_-

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 04:59:47 GMT

protected posts from now on

and no one will be on my list that lets people read the protected entries, maybe.

this will be shut to the public thus expelling me out of all means.

no one will know whats going on in my life, no one will know what i'm going through, and no one will know what had happened.

and i will return, when i feel like that things are considerably better.

understood? good.

bye. zai jian.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 01:58:16 GMT

_{Vindicate me, O God,}

_{and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;}

_{rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.}

_{You are God my stronghold.}

_{Why have you rejected me?}

_{Why must I go about mourning,}

_{oppressed by the enemy?}

_{Send forth your light and your truth,}

_{let them guide me;}

_{let them bring me to your holy mountain,}

_{to the place where you dwell.}

_{Then will I go to the altar of God,}

_{to God, my joy and my delight.}

_{I will praise you with the harp,}

_{O God, my God.}

_{Why are you downcast, O my soul?}

_{Why so disturbed within me?}

_{Put your hope in God,}

_{for I will yet praise him,}

_{my Savior and my God.}

_{Psalms 43}

_{Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD ;}

_{O Lord, hear my voice.}

_{Let your ears be attentive}

_{to my cry for mercy.}

_{If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,}

_{O Lord, who could stand?}

_{But with you there is forgiveness;}

_{therefore you are feared.}

_{I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,}

_{and in his word I put my hope.}

_{My soul waits for the Lord}

_{more than watchmen wait for the morning,}

_{more than watchmen wait for the morning.}

_{O Israel, put your hope in the LORD ,}

_{for with the LORD is unfailing love}

_{and with him is full redemption.}

_{He himself will redeem Israel}

_{from all their sins.}

_{Psalms 130}

_{I called on your name, O LORD,}

_{from the depths of the pit.}

_{You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears}

_{to my cry for relief."}

_{You came near when I called you,}

_{and you said, "Do not fear."}

_{Lamentations 3:55-57}

_{Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD .}

_{Leviticus 19:18}

_{But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.}

_{"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.}

_{Luke 6:27-36}

_{Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.}

_{Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.}

_{Ephesians 4:25-32}

_{My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?}

_{Why are you so far from saving me,}

_{so far from the words of my groaning?}

_{O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,}

_{by night, and am not silent.}

_{Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;}

_{you are the praise of Israel.}

_{In you our fathers put their trust;}

_{they trusted and you delivered them.}

_{They cried to you and were saved;}

_{in you they trusted and were not disappointed.}

_{But I am a worm and not a man,}

_{scorned by men and despised by the people.}

_{All who see me mock me;}

_{they hurl insults, shaking their heads:}

_{"He trusts in the LORD ;}

_{let the LORD rescue him.}

_{Let him deliver him,}

_{since he delights in him."}

_{Yet you brought me out of the womb;}

_{you made me trust in you}

_{even at my mother's breast.}

_{From birth I was cast upon you;}

_{from my mother's womb you have been my God.}

_{Do not be far from me,}

_{for trouble is near}

_{and there is no one to help.}

_{Many bulls surround me;}

_{strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.}

_{Roaring lions tearing their prey}

_{open their mouths wide against me.}

_{I am poured out like water,}

_{and all my bones are out of joint.}

_{My heart has turned to wax;}

_{it has melted away within me.}

_{My strength is dried up like a potsherd,}

_{and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;}

_{you lay me in the dust of death.}

_{Dogs have surrounded me;}

_{a band of evil men has encircled me,}

_{they have pierced my hands and my feet.}

_{I can count all my bones;}

_{people stare and gloat over me.}

_{They divide my garments among them}

_{and cast lots for my clothing.}

_{But you, O LORD , be not far off;}

_{O my Strength, come quickly to help me.}

_{Deliver my life from the sword,}

_{my precious life from the power of the dogs.}

_{Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;}

_{save me from the horns of the wild oxen.}

_{I will declare your name to my brothers;}

_{in the congregation I will praise you.}

_{You who fear the LORD, praise him!}

_{All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!}

_{Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!}

_{For he has not despised or disdained}

_{the suffering of the afflicted one;}

_{he has not hidden his face from him}

_{but has listened to his cry for help.}

_{From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;}

_{before those who fear you will I fulfill my vows.}

_{The poor will eat and be satisfied;}

_{they who seek the LORD will praise him-}

_{may your hearts live forever!}

_{All the ends of the earth}

_{will remember and turn to the LORD ,}

_{and all the families of the nations}

_{will bow down before him,}

_{for dominion belongs to the LORD}

_{and he rules over the nations.}

_{All the rich of the earth will feast and worship;}

_{all who go down to the dust will kneel before him-}

_{those who cannot keep themselves alive.}

_{Posterity will serve him;}

_{future generations will be told about the Lord.}

_{They will proclaim his righteousness}

_{to a people yet unborn-}

_{for he has done it.}

_{Psalms 22}

_{As the deer pants for streams of water,}

_{so my soul pants for you, O God.}

_{My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.}

_{When can I go and meet with God?}

_{My tears have been my food}

_{day and night,}

_{while men say to me all day long,}

_{"Where is your God?"}

_{These things I remember}

_{as I pour out my soul:}

_{how I used to go with the multitude,}

_{leading the procession to the house of God,}

_{with shouts of joy and thanksgiving}

_{among the festive throng.}

_{Why are you downcast, O my soul?}

_{Why so disturbed within me?}

_{Put your hope in God,}

_{for I will yet praise him,}

_{my Savior and my God.}

_{My soul is downcast within me;}

_{therefore I will remember you}

_{from the land of the Jordan,}

_{the heights of Hermon-from Mount Mizar.}

_{Deep calls to deep}

_{in the roar of your waterfalls;}

_{all your waves and breakers}

_{have swept over me.}

_{By day the LORD directs his love,}

_{at night his song is with me-}

_{a prayer to the God of my life.}

_{I say to God my Rock,}

_{"Why have you forgotten me?}

_{Why must I go about mourning,}

_{oppressed by the enemy?"}

_{My bones suffer mortal agony}

_{as my foes taunt me,}

_{saying to me all day long,}

_{"Where is your God?"}

_{Why are you downcast, O my soul?}

_{Why so disturbed within me?}

_{Put your hope in God,}

_{for I will yet praise him,}

_{my Savior and my God.}

_{Psalms 42}

Monday, January 24, 2005

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 04:50:12 GMT

on friday, joyce jennifer hershel and i went to borders to help each other study algebra 2.

on saturday, i went to tien's bday party and it was the first time i played halo 2 and its really cool and fun. i can see now why people are crazy about this game. and it was also the first time i betted with chips on poker. and i won too. how 'bout that.

on sunday, church was something that needed, pretty desperately. gosh, the church got their building permit from the city now, and they're renovating starting tomorrow. man..i've been to this church for 7 years now, all those good memories of climbing up the roof and ceilings of church, making our hideout/hangout with a group of friends in those bushes and trees behind the church; having that company next to our church write a letter informing us about "several kids" running through their lot, which was us. i also remember playing frankenstein with the group, and then as we grew older, we played frankenstien but this time with flying wastebaskets and chairs. helping out with vbs, and having those precious small groups that taught me so much and now, those stuff would be all be demolitioned and gone, tomorrow. wow, its hard to believe 7 years has passed since then, i can't even remember the first day i went to Hoc3. ok. well, things have changed and the future is coming. andrew and i shall join the sound team shortly. and i will be the ones monitoring the audio, while andrew controls the projector and lights. soon. i can't wait.

look what i found on the news today, it caught my eye.

Warning Signs

Talks about suicide
Has trouble eating or sleeping
Drastic behavior changes
Withdraws from family and friends
Loses interest in hobbies, work, and school
Makes out will or final arrangements
Gives away possessions
Previous suicide attempts
Takes unnecessary risks
Experienced recent loss
Loses interest in personal appearance
Increases use of alcohol and drugs

they said that every 18 minutes a person commits suicide. wowzers. thats a lot. "suicide's best friend is the stigma that keeps people from talking openly about it". ok. yea interesting..stuff. now all i need, is the nerve to do it.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 04:53:36 GMT

so today..mr. barrera went all out on me. haha or cry cry??

in the morning, a few minutes into The 4 Scottish dances, my microphone on my tuner broke off [which reminds me, havta fix it], it broke off from the clip and i was trying to fix it. well, my head was down, and probably mr. ol' barrera couldn't see my HEAD because i was looking down, trying to snap the mike back onto the clip. he yelled,

"JESSE"

I looked up arubtly and dropped my clip and mike [which made me have to fix it all over again] and said, “huh?” someones talking to me? He said, “When I talk, I want you make eye contact. And I want to see YO HeAD. Sarah, was he sleeping?” sarah said nothing [it was a rhetorical question I guess] so guess mr. Barrera thought I was indeed sleeping during class and said, “sarah. Maybe sometimes you have to give him a jumpstart, like punch him or something..” err okay..its not like sarah hasn’t given me enough “jump starts” already. Cough. Poke. So okay. I was pretty embarrassed by that. Next, when we stopped somewhere in the second movement, I moved my HEAD closer to the stand to read the flatty notes with 5 or 6 flats for our key signature, and right then, mr. Barrera didn’t see MAH HEAD. So he yelled again,

“JESSE,”

ugh…*face turns red* “I want to see your HEAD when you’re playing, I need you to play with more confidence and not be afraid. This is not the FIRST time I told you to let me see your head. LOWER YOUR STAND JESSE.” Omg. During 3^rd period, I gained confidential information from Russell that mr. Barrera caught someone without a HEAD. And barrera said, “[INSERT NAME HERE.] I want to see your HEAD when I’m talking [blah blah blah blah] you know jesse, that clarinet player? You’re like him now, hiding your head under the stand.” Err something like that, forgot but its something like that. Anyhow, during 4^th period when we were tuning, mr. Barrera was pantomiming embochure, clarinet, push stand down at me. I thought he was doing it at someone else but then he was glaring at me. Gah. I lowered the stand. Yeah, today was humiliating. Thanks mr. barrera?

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 01:48:49 GMT

in science yesterday:

We learned about constipation and diarrhea.

-constipation is caused by the lack of fluids in your feces, having all the liquid passed into the bloodstream, causing the feces to be hard, and making it have a hard time going out of the rectum. we also learned about using a medicine that you insert up the butthole, which causes the muscles in the intestines to squeeze, thus expulsing and moving the feces out, and also providing fluids for the feces to have an easy transport out.

-diarrhea is just the opposite. Too much fluids in feces. Having too much of those fluids are what gives it its liquidy fecey and having feces practically drip out of your anal hole.

We also learned about how if you “contrain yourself too hard”, then part of your large intestines will actually come out of your anal hole. It’s a painful experience that I’m sure no one wants to go through. In order to put it back in its rightful place, it must be cleaned and sterilized, and then carefully inserted back up the hole. Our teacher, Mr. Malcolm had experiences with that on horses. Horses tend to have this problem. Mr. Malcolm was the vet tech of his father’s vet’s services, and he often had to clean up the intestines and push it back into the anal hole. How fun.

Today in science:

We learned about the kidneys and the bladder. When you hear of kidney stones, you think of stones in the kidneys. Not necessarily. Sometimes kidney stones can actually move through the Ureter down into the bladder. To make it worse, sometimes the kidney stones, by the way, which actually has the characteristics of a stone. Rough edges and sharp corners, hard as a rock. That means traveling down the ureter can be hell. It will cause abrasions on the Ureter. To make things worse, it even goes down the bladder into the URETHRA. Now as you know, the urethra is ahem, the tube that connects to the outside world which flushes urine out of your body either through a – or ah -. But you know what that is. Now, kidney stones may slip through the bladder, down into the urethra. And if that happens, the next time you go take a piss, a small little stone might come out of whatever you have, depending if ur a male or female. It will come out of that hole. Mr. Malcolm had never had the problem before, but he knows people who has, and they told him that it hurts like crazy. Imagine, a small stone going from ur kidneys and out..through ur urine. Ouch. That must hurt! We also learned about the different exotic deep-sea animals that washed up on the tsunami shore, and they look cool. And its funny how he gets excited, with that little twinkle in his eye, as he teaches us. He is an awesome science teacher. Too bad he spent the whole period talking about it and we didn’t even start our respiration notes. Oh man, the things we learn in science..haha.

Science is..interesting 8D

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 01:20:50 GMT

today i went to linens and things, yay! [dry sarcasm]. but we bought frames [for those logan marching pics of mines], pillows, and it came up for 54.10$? what the heck..there must be something else we bought.., oh i remember, we got a make-your-own-ugly-gingerbread-house-kit thingy for my sister. haha i can't wait to see what it looks like. oh and i also got a haircut today, its alright, bald spots everywhere, err.. ookay. not to mention i haven't started my hw yet either. hehe yea, and then at michaels, we got stuff for my dad's bday present, well actually, my sister did, his bday's this thursday or something. i really noticed that women becomes craazy in Michaels, with all those linens and things, lil beads, and string, and beads and junk. they never want to leave. my sister and mom just keep on coming back with more stuff, and then running away to buy more. gosh, michael's is the boring-est store ever. and it won two best captions from the Argus newspapers for like best arts & craft store, and something else. to further prove my point, my mom went totally bonkers and said that we were going to buy a 9 feet christmas tree.

"but MOM!! we already HAVE a CHRISTMAS TREE!!"

"aiyah, we can donate our old one and buy this one!"

0_0"

yeah, and then we finally told her she was crazy, and she finally had the lightbulb click, and thought, oh yeah, 9 feet is probably too tall...oh wow. she just realized that :P haha.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 03:55:30 GMT

its funny..cuz..my sister wants her rat to..uh, mate with one of her friends male rat..and they uh..think the male rats scrotum...is a butt. sigh. how naive they are =P it'll all change at 7th grade..

went to allegro...and bought [easy] piano sheet music on Heart & Soul, Go the Distance, the ENtertainer, and Sk8er boi. my sister wanted that last one fyi.

went to blockbusters to get another dvd. siblings insists on Max Keebles: Big Move something like it. sister is reluctant on spending her 20$ gift card here, thus deferring the card to my mom, earning her 20$ in cash. and later that evening, we watched that movie. ahhhh, good times, back in band :]

i must get a haircut tomorrow...or i ain't gonna go to school no more.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 01:49:06 GMT

wow today was hm..weird. i was sleeping and i was having a good sleep and having a tranquil sleep and then all of a sudden my brother jumps on my bed and GOD KNOWS what time it was. popped my dream and snapped me into reality. he wanted to me to play ps2 like at what 7 oclock?! [actually it was more like 10, but to me, it was 7] and i said GAHH NOOO. and he was like PLEAAAAASE. and he said he'd pay me a quarter in addition to the 75 cents he owes me yesterday, thus giving me a dollar for doing nothing, made me jump out of bed and go, lets go. i went back to sleep around 12. and one of my old friends came over because of our moms doing some business i guess. i just kept sleeping. i was just darn too tired. and i must've slept for a hour or too, and i guess people kept on coming by, because i found clothes next to the bed, implicating that my mom must've came and said to wake up, my friend was here. aye. after all that, i went with my dad to get some new contact lenses, and then we spent like 2 frickin' hours looking for good movies at blockbuster. and let me tell you the truth, there so many @*#$&@ movies that i would say, i only saw two movies that i actually saw. very embarassing. and i had no idea which movies were the good ones, or the movies that . man, i didn't know any movies therE! [except the disney ones 0=) ] and so i was processing through my head which movies people always seem to ask have you ever seen [movie title here] before? so i got like [dunt laugh] godfather, medallion, max keebles big movie [?], and my dad got the passion of christ. iono, i thought that max keeble one, my siblings would enjoy [even though they see it at band when subs are there anyway...cya bassoon!! haha]. stupid clerks. they never told us that we can only use one cap a day. #*$@. that meant we spent like 2 hours there for no reason. we could've just chose a movie and left. grr. so tomorrow i'd be going again after church. does anyone SERIOUSLY know a good movie? cuz i want to expand my knowledge on entertainment and movies, which in turn, would corrupt my mind, obviously. um...yeah. =] ^^ =D =)