Yay =)

thats how i look tien.  lol.  you can also see how poor i was back then -_-

protected posts from now on

and no one will be on my list that lets people read the protected entries, maybe.

this will be shut to the public thus expelling me out of all means. 

no one will know whats going on in my life, no one will know what i'm going through, and no one will know what had happened.

and i will return, when i feel like that things are considerably better. 

understood?  good.

bye.  zai jian.

_{Vindicate me, O God,}

_{and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;}

_{rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.}

_{You are God my stronghold.}

_{Why have you rejected me?}

_{Why must I go about mourning,}

_{oppressed by the enemy?}

_{Send forth your light and your truth,}

_{let them guide me;}

_{let them bring me to your holy mountain,}

_{to the place where you dwell.}

_{Then will I go to the altar of God,}

_{to God, my joy and my delight.}

_{I will praise you with the harp,}

_{O God, my God.}

_{Why are you downcast, O my soul?}

_{Why so disturbed within me?}

_{Put your hope in God,}

_{for I will yet praise him,}

_{my Savior and my God.}

_{Psalms 43}

_{Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD ;}

_{O Lord,  hear my voice.}

_{Let your ears be attentive}

_{to my cry for mercy.}

_{If you, O LORD,  kept a record of sins,}

_{O Lord, who could stand?}

_{But with you there is forgiveness;}

_{therefore you are feared.}

_{I wait for the LORD,  my soul waits,}

_{and in his word I put my hope.}

_{My soul waits for the Lord}

_{more than watchmen wait for the morning,}

_{more than watchmen wait for the morning.}

_{O Israel, put your hope in the LORD ,}

_{for with the LORD is unfailing love}

_{and with him is full redemption.}

_{He himself will redeem Israel}

_{from all their sins.}

_{Psalms 130}

_{I called on your name, O LORD,}

_{from the depths of the pit.}

_{You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears}

_{to my cry for relief."}

_{You came near when I called you,}

_{and you said, "Do not fear."}

_{Lamentations 3:55-57}

_{Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD .}

_{Leviticus 19:18}
 

_{But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.}

_{"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.}

_{Luke 6:27-36}

_{Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor,  for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.}

_{Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness,  rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.}

_{Ephesians 4:25-32}

_{My God,  my God, why have you forsaken me?}

_{Why are you so far from saving me,}

_{so far from the words of my groaning?}

_{O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,}

_{by night, and am not silent.}

_{Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;}

_{you are the praise of Israel.}

_{In you our fathers put their trust;}

_{they trusted and you delivered them.}

_{They cried to you and were saved;}

_{in you they trusted and were not disappointed.}

_{But I am a worm and not a man,}

_{scorned by men and despised by the people.}

_{All who see me mock me;}

_{they hurl insults, shaking their heads:}

_{"He trusts in the LORD ;}

_{let the LORD rescue him.}

_{Let him deliver him,}

_{since he delights in him."}

_{Yet you brought me out of the womb;}

_{you made me trust in you}

_{even at my mother's breast.}

_{From birth I was cast upon you;}

_{from my mother's womb you have been my God.}

_{Do not be far from me,}

_{for trouble is near}

_{and there is no one to help.}

_{Many bulls surround me;}

_{strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.}

_{Roaring lions tearing their prey}

_{open their mouths wide against me.}

_{I am poured out like water,}

_{and all my bones are out of joint.}

_{My heart has turned to wax;}

_{it has melted away within me.}

_{My strength is dried up like a potsherd,}

_{and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;}

_{you lay me in the dust of death.}

_{Dogs have surrounded me;}

_{a band of evil men has encircled me,}

_{they have pierced my hands and my feet.}

_{I can count all my bones;}

_{people stare and gloat over me.}

_{They divide my garments among them}

_{and cast lots for my clothing.}

_{But you, O LORD , be not far off;}

_{O my Strength, come quickly to help me.}

_{Deliver my life from the sword,}

_{my precious life from the power of the dogs.}

_{Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;}

_{save me from the horns of the wild oxen.}

_{I will declare your name to my brothers;}

_{in the congregation I will praise you.}

_{You who fear the LORD,  praise him!}

_{All you descendants of Jacob,  honor him!}

_{Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!}

_{For he has not despised or disdained}

_{the suffering of the afflicted one;}

_{he has not hidden his face from him}

_{but has listened to his cry for help.}

_{From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;}

_{before those who fear you will I fulfill my vows.}

_{The poor will eat and be satisfied;}

_{they who seek the LORD will praise him-}

_{may your hearts live forever!}

_{All the ends of the earth}

_{will remember and turn to the LORD ,}

_{and all the families of the nations}

_{will bow down before him,}

_{for dominion belongs to the LORD}

_{and he rules over the nations.}

_{All the rich of the earth will feast and worship;}

_{all who go down to the dust will kneel before him-}

_{those who cannot keep themselves alive.}

_{Posterity will serve him;}

_{future generations will be told about the Lord.}

_{They will proclaim his righteousness}

_{to a people yet unborn-}

_{for he has done it.}

_{Psalms 22}

_{As the deer pants for streams of water,}

_{so my soul pants for you, O God.}

_{My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.}

_{When can I go and meet with God?}

_{My tears have been my food}

_{day and night,}

_{while men say to me all day long,}

_{"Where is your God?"}

_{These things I remember}

_{as I pour out my soul:}

_{how I used to go with the multitude,}

_{leading the procession to the house of God,}

_{with shouts of joy and thanksgiving}

_{among the festive throng.}

_{Why are you downcast, O my soul?}

_{Why so disturbed within me?}

_{Put your hope in God,}

_{for I will yet praise him,}

_{my Savior and my God.}

_{My soul is downcast within me;}

_{therefore I will remember you}

_{from the land of the Jordan,}

_{the heights of Hermon-from Mount Mizar.}

_{Deep calls to deep}

_{in the roar of your waterfalls;}

_{all your waves and breakers}

_{have swept over me.}

_{By day the LORD directs his love,}

_{at night his song is with me-}

_{a prayer to the God of my life.}

_{I say to God my Rock,}

_{"Why have you forgotten me?}

_{Why must I go about mourning,}

_{oppressed by the enemy?"}

_{My bones suffer mortal agony}

_{as my foes taunt me,}

_{saying to me all day long,}

_{"Where is your God?"}

_{Why are you downcast, O my soul?}

_{Why so disturbed within me?}

_{Put your hope in God,}

_{for I will yet praise him,}

_{my Savior and my God.}

_{Psalms 42}

on friday, joyce jennifer hershel and i went to borders to help each other study algebra 2.

on saturday, i went to tien's bday party and it was the first time i played halo 2 and its really cool and fun.   i can see now why people are crazy about this game.  and it was also the first time i betted with chips on poker.  and i won too.  how 'bout that.

on sunday, church was something that needed, pretty desperately.  gosh, the church got their building permit from the city now, and they're renovating starting tomorrow.  man..i've been to this church for 7 years now, all those good memories of climbing up the roof and ceilings of church, making our hideout/hangout with a group of friends in those bushes and trees behind the church; having that company next to our church write a letter informing us about "several kids" running through their lot, which was us.  i also remember playing frankenstein with the group, and then as we grew older, we played frankenstien but this time with flying wastebaskets and chairs.  helping out with vbs, and having those precious small groups that taught me so much and now, those stuff would be all be demolitioned and gone, tomorrow.  wow, its hard to believe 7 years has passed since then, i can't even remember the first day i went to Hoc3.  ok.  well, things have changed and the future is coming.  andrew and i shall join the sound team shortly.  and i will be the ones monitoring the audio, while andrew controls the projector and lights.  soon.  i can't wait. 

look what i found on the news today, it caught my eye. 

Warning Signs

• Talks about suicide
• Has trouble eating or sleeping
• Drastic behavior changes
• Withdraws from family and friends
• Loses interest in hobbies, work, and school
• Makes out will or final arrangements
• Gives away possessions
• Previous suicide attempts
• Takes unnecessary risks
• Experienced recent loss
• Loses interest in personal appearance
• Increases use of alcohol and drugs

they said that every 18 minutes a person commits suicide.  wowzers.  thats a lot.  "suicide's best friend is the stigma that keeps people from talking openly about it".  ok.  yea interesting..stuff.  now all i need, is the nerve to do it.